Dorothy Parker Quotes

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

Q: What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can’t hear an enzyme.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.

I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.