Funny Husband And Wife Quotes

Funny Husband And Wife Quotes by Helen Rowland, Ogden Nash, Henny Youngman, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ruth Graham, Richard J. Needham and many others.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of man

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Helen Rowland
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Ruth Graham
Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.
Richard J. Needham
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
Mignon McLaughlin
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night.
Paul Hornung
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
Lewis Grizzard
The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.
B. R. Ambedkar
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Herbert V. Prochnow
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
W. Somerset Maugham
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld