Funny Husband And Wife Quotes by Helen Rowland, Ogden Nash, Henny Youngman, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ruth Graham, Richard J. Needham and many others.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night.
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.