Funny Men And Women Quotes by Elayne Boosler, Aristotle, Charlotte Whitton, Jill Shalvis, Groucho Marx, Fanny Fern and many others.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Shipping magnate of the 20th century If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
The way to a man’s heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. – Jeanne