Funny Valentines Day Card Quotes by Rita Rudner, Maya Angelou, Lewis Grizzard, Dorothy Parker, Lynda Barry, Theodor Reik and many others.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.
I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.
There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Money gives me pleasure all the time.
The bravest thing that men do is love women.