Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy Quotes by Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Mark Twain and many others.

The Answer to the Great Question… Of Life, the Universe and Everything… Is… Forty-two,’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.
The argument goes something like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist,” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.
Ford… you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.
Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
I’m up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is…42!
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I don’t want to die now!” he yelled. “I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!
Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it… anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.