Lucille Ball Quotes

I don’t know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me… anecdotes. But never a joke.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

remember to recognize the small successes that you will have. Don’t let the brightness of that big goal blind you to what happens on the way toward the goal. Meet one wave at a time and enjoy what progress you make. I want you please not to be taken up in the undertow of pessimism.

I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I’ve got to keep it this way.

I’ve seen ‘Mork & Mindy’ a couple times. Robin Williams amazes me. And I love Gary Coleman. He puts me away. He puts everybody away.

How to do half-hour comedy innovatively is something I do pride myself on. We invented it with ‘I Love Lucy.’

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

I don’t think you should write a book until you tell the absolute truth. You can’t do that until you’re 85, and I don’t want to live that long. I’ve always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

Women’s Lib? Oh, I’m afraid it doesn’t interest me one bit. I’ve been so liberated it hurts.

Love yourself first and everything falls into line.

Whether we’re prepared or not, life has a habit of thrusting situations upon us.

I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one.

Use a make-up table with everything close at hand and don’t rush; otherwise you’ll look like a patchwork quilt.

TV started for me just as a means of keeping my husband Desi off the road. He’d been on tour with his band since he got out of the Army, and we were in our 11th year of marriage and wanted to have children.

I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.

I believe that we’re as happy in life as we make up our minds to be.